Cutie Baby Boy

Duck's nephew.. How lovely...

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Sombre Mood

Lovely Buangkok




Old school uh!!

Not my day, definitely. The mosquitoes here are loving me like hell, stop irritating
Me!!! The crew plus
Me had a great time last night And we're all ready to start working, getting ready for new challenges..




Stupid mosquitoes

Im trying to keep myself busy, like drop dead tired and go home snoring like a pig and wake up to work again.. There's nothing that awaits me at home. It only makes me even more upset.
Next year will be so different again.....


Love,
X'tina


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Buangkok

Putting on weight...

Here i am,

Sitting on a bench in a sub urban area hard to be seen in singapore.

Working, Waiting, getting ready for surprises... Guess what? Had fallen asleep in a automobile for more than 8 hours, by the time i woke up sun is beaming, i had to wash up and get ready for the day to begin busily with work! Haha, first time ever in my life.

We still have half a month more to go for this shoot.. In love with them 3 lovely boys! Hope they do grow up handsome and most importantly kind hearted..

So far so good, just getting cuter each day with my weight gain!

Haha, shall upload plenty pictures soon..

Loves,
X'tina

Blogging via dear iphone

Here i am, trying to blog and finally was a success cuz the blur me cant remember my password! Haha!

Im full from steamboat, tired..

*cant wait to finish my dear twilight before proceeding on to Eclipse..*

Love,
X'tina

a.l.o.n.e

It seemed all so happy within me and around me, but it isn't so. Too much kept within that none is supposed to be shared. How tough. Too big a decision that took almost a year to decide, and yet it remain undecided. Too many whys for myself to answer, laughter fakes my sadness away.
Wasted another year, is it really so hard to make a decision?

Sincerely and deeply grateful for all the nice people that i've met. Im very sorry for whatever wrongs that I've done. I didnt want/mean to create uneccesary problems to add up to my already troubled life. And for those who did me wrong, I sincerely thank you too. You made me learn to be even stronger. But however strong I am, the emptiness inside is still screaming for help. Can you hear me?

**** I cant handle this all alone....****

Zouk Out 2oo9

What a DAY...

I lost my wallet, can i just scream to the whole world? Its not a big deal, but it is infact a freakin big deal. Im utterly pissed, seriously upset. I know having this emotions wouldnt make my wallet re-appear, but i still do. Sigh. Why Why Why?

Dear God

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

My Dear Diaries.....

Left to Right:2001-2009 Memoirs of Me, Myself And I..




Its really more of reflections of the past to teach me to be better, wow, 8 years of diary-writing, I could jolly well make it a book when Im 80! Haha.. However reading it again has its ups and downs.. Memories are always hard to erase.....





2006 Ups & Downs


2003- Young and Dangerous.. LOL


2001- Naive and Fat



David Beckham use'd' to be the man, the apple of my eye. HAHA


This is my best friend, they are the only ones with me when im down, the only one with me to truly share my joy.. The one and only that i can trust... =)

Walking Alone...

Why do i feel that i have none to confide to, i seemed immune to the surroundings, which all seems surreal to contradict me. Or am i contradicting to all?
I am being myself, without realising who i am..
Wish i had a proper upbringing, but things didnt work out that way. I'll always have to run a marathon, all by myself.

I wish, I wish, I wish..

Someone would share my thoughts with me..


Love,
X'tina

I love Singapore!

The place we nest in, I realised how great Singapore is, after travelling to a few different places. One can never ask for more, when im back in Singapore, everything is there. The place i was born and grew up till now for 22 years.

Sadly, young people nowadays doesnt really appreciate our lovely nation, only complaining for more and more stuffs. What going to happen 50 years later? When there's no more LKY, our father of the nation? To hand feed overly pampered Singaporeans... We will have to see.... Its pretty scary to imagine..

The future of Singapore lies in the younger generation's knowledge of Singapore now, sadly, people are too busy enjoying lives, they forgot how hard our forefathers built this little dot from nothing, from a third world country to thriving business port. Im really proud of them, for without them, Singapore would still be a third world country, no green Singapore, no clean Singapore, no safe Singapore.

For now, we have everything we need, and we're living in a safe and homely Singapore, with good government, strict laws, we should start appreciating it....

9 August !
Lets celebrate Singapore's 44th Birthday!!!

Love Singapore! (despite having to do CWO soon)
HAHAHA


Love,
X'tina

The 13 hours journey...

First, a glass of white wine + coke to feel sleepy....



Then a movie by Jim Carrey to fall asleep............



Middle role is a NONO! Especially when the restroom is just behind U.


Dinner Time @ 0600 in the morning....
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ *Sleeping Time* ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ




17 again, after wakie, 2 hours more to home sweet home... =)




I went home with a heavy heart, worried, troubled, scared... What the future is going to hold for me.. As though the world is coming to an end.. lol.. Thank God, good things and opportunity came knocking on my door, a new world opened up for me. Seize it while its fiery hot! Things doesnt come all good all times.. Made me realised, what is more important for myself and not being too impatience to sacrifice all for others. Im sorry.

------------------------->22<--------------------------------------------------------------
8 more years to thrive for a career, I'll have to do it..

*Its now or never...........................*

Marshall Bruce Mathers III

Eminem, has always been my favourite since 13. His music often tells stories of his own, which somehow relates to me. I just feel that He isn't someone who doesn't give a shit about anything, but shit always happened to him hence he started shitting on everyone who shit on him. I see, somehow a rather lost man, trying to find some cause, happiness of his life, trying hard to be Hailey's good daddy, somehow still angered and stapled with hatred of his ex-wife, but also hoping for a new change. Someone who is trying to overcome the pain by himself, yet also potraying a really strong character of someone who doesn't care about things that infact matter to him. His songs, says a zillion about his life. And I respect him for his love towards his lovely daughter, despite being a white rapper in the black industry, he too gained rapport from both sides. He is the Best and yeay he'a making a comeback! And him dissing everyone in the world, even George Bush, was just too cool, his 'I don't give a shit as to who I am dissing, I am who I am and I have the rights to say and rap about what I wanna say' attitude, love it!

BUT....

Upon hearing Michael Jackson's death, Eminem's name just showered on my head like a lightning flashing on my mind.. Aw.. Its bad. I wonder does he feel something after hearing his death? I think so... However, I feel that Michael Jackson will be happier going to heaven, which he could have peace, rather than stinging from human beings, which is why he underwent so much turmoils despite being 'King of Pop', which people hardly appreciate until he moved on....

Some interesting quotes that Michael Jackson left behind (from wikipedia.com):

"Why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, 'I'm an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight,' people would say, 'Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He's cracked up. You can't believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth."

---Michael Jackson

"I've been in the entertainment industry since I was six years old... As Charles Dickens says, "It's been the best of times, worst of times." But i would not change my career... While some have made deliberate attempts to hurt me, I take it in stride because I have a loving family, a strong faith and wonderful friends and fans who have, and continue, to support me."

---Michael Jackson

think, thoughts thoughts. Tweet! Lol.

Tried taking a little nap, but I just cant sleep. Can i stop thinking, stop worrying? Yes please. Always look at the brighter side of life right? Thinking doesnt create a solution too. Unless to open up my stubborn mouth. Damned.

Alright, several things to do when i'm back, I am penning down what to do and to get it done asap. Super cravings for steamboat, perhaps I'll have it after touching down! And plenty of movies. The Proposal! Ryan Reynold is definitely HOT! A big fan of one of his movie, Definitely Maybe. Im sure he does it well too this time with Ms Congeniality. Yup, and just appreciate our lovely Singapore....

Yucky sunny warmy humid afternoon on a lazy sunday on the couch , again.

Love,
X'tina

4 More Days to SG

Time FLIESSSSSSS!!!! Im going back home in no time.. First and foremost, I miss my daughter DEEPLY, secondly, I cant wait to be back to the Netherlands again. This time, with a different cause. I hope all will remain unchanged and how it is and shall look forward for the future.

I must be a good mummy, i promised. Reckon that Mikayla absolutely cant follow my footstep. Its never too late , and i shall start asap when I get back. Mummy promised she will never leave u alone anymore. Love.

Just had a heavy dinner, hamburger, potatoes, vegetables. Mmm.. Really cant keep complaining fat when here i am munching non-stop. Anyway Im happy, when im happy, I put on weight. So i 'assume' thats a good sign. And here I am, standing at the kitchen table, blogging. How funny.

Everywhere, everyone is talking about our King of Pop Michael Jackson. Its really sad. Im not an avid fan, but He is someone that made an impact to the music industry, most importantly, his music touched most heart. And its not only about the music, moves that made him the King of Pop, his charity and love to the kids, touched my heart deeply. Sadly what he got in return is accusation and people making fun of him. Again, this is life? So, this always question me....

Why must we mourn for someone's lost only after he's gone? Makes me thinking of the people around me, my family. 'Its never too late......', if you make it happen.....

Love,
X'tina

R.I.P Michael Jackson & Farrah Fawcett

I was just being awake, having a sip of coffee, and was reading about the news of Michael Jackson passed on to Heaven at the age of 50, I was utterly shocked. Its like, no shit, you gotta be kidding. But it happened to be true. Another legend gone. He will & still be remembered for his days in which his music reached out to everyone. He will, still be respected. His song, ' Heal the World', maybe that will be a song for us to remind him. R.I.P to the man once made the music industry a big revolution.

Farrah Fawcett is someone amazing too. How she had bravely fought for her life with cancer, and with glimpse of hope to be alive. And never giving it up.

2 famous people who made once made history will never be forgotten.

How Dutch think of Asians

After a month stay in the Netherlands, i've got the chance to let my curiousness out of my bag and questioned people here how they think of Asians. And I am very much surprised. And its pretty funny and interesting when I hear it. So i surveyed a few men and friends and here's what I've got:

1) Most of them think too highly of themselves, that they think Asians are weird creatures that came from Mars with small eyes and weird noses which looks the same.
2) I feel offended when hearing how they make fun of us, the Chinese. They think that we speak weird and funny language and laughed proudly about it.
3) They think we are just NOOBS.
4) Female asian with a dutch man walking down the streets = hooker with an ugly unwanted dutch man. ( DUH )
5) They think Chinese = Asians = All from China. ( same same ) (DUH DUH DUH)
6) They think they know EVERYTHING better than us.

And the most amazing thing is, all their life, they had only stayed on their home ground. And they KNOW so much about us. Wow, how AMAZING. L.O.L

But Well, NOT EVERYONE ARE LIKE THAT! I would take a poll of 70% are as stated as above.

However, i see plenty of nice people around too:
1) My dear friend Bunny and I were lost while taking a train and there's this nice lady who showed us all the way to our train and eventually went back to her train station. How nice!
2) Most of the people are more than happy to help you if you lost your way ( we've been lost like more then 10 times and 10 times we've got help. )
3) They smile to you when you are walking pass.
4) Please, Thank you and See you again. ( Everytime ) Thats really nice.
5) They try to speak English and help you in ANY way they they could.

In a Nutshell:
Its a pretty bad misconception of the portrayal of Asians as minorities and perhaps a misunderstanding of the different cultures of the East & the West.

Therefore....
I think everyone in this whole wide world needs to liberal and open to the different cultures of all nationalities and races. Everyone in any place in this world has something special to appreciate in them. So appreciate everyone around!

Maybe I'm Wrong.

After the fast ride of good times and roller coaster ride of turmoil that only I, myself know and been through and understood it. Everything changed after that. My whole life entirely painted with a new fresh painting, finally walking on my own. Its actually a good thing to have gone through bad times, well, the truth is, I really appreciate it. It changed my life, to a better person.

Things that I tell myself everyday,
1) Wake up feeling happy.
2) STOP worrying about the future, cherish the PRESENT.
3) Do not HIDE feelings and unhappiness to yourself, share it with your partner.
4) Be confident, not being complacent.
5) Be humble, without being pushed around by beings.
6) Take things easy, life will be much much smoother and happier.
7) Follow your instinct, and hard work makes it happen.
8) Live life the way you want it to be, there is no rules.
9) One life, Live it!


Love.

Embarking on a new journey, a BIG change.

Its a brand new day, an early & bright morning...
Another happy week had passed,
Im always missing those happy weeks passed,
To love and be loved..
One more precious week..
Live life simple and realising the utmost important things that you want in life and make it happen.
Be contented and enjoy every single moment of it....

Love.

THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!

Be Happy Always................

My Favourite Men ;P

Dream. Dream. Dream. They rock me too much.. Damned...